Being asked to make a toast or speech at a wedding is an honor and important responsibility. There are several people who may be asked to speak, including the best man, the maid of honor and the parents of the bride and groom. When it comes to wedding planning, the bride and groom work hard to make their wedding day special, so wedding toasts and speeches should show a similar level of preparedness.
Wedding Etiquette for Toasts and Speeches
Especially at large weddings, waiters may still be filling glasses, so be sure all guests have a full glass for toasting. There will likely be several toasts and speeches to cover, so keep it short, but not too short; Between three and six minutes is an appropriate length of time for a wedding toast or speech.
Here are a few more etiquette points to keep in mind when preparing a wedding toast:
- Thank Guests - It may seem like a small thing, but a simple thank you to the guests is a wonderful gesture. For the best man or maid of honor speech, remember to also thank the parents of the bride and groom.
- Make the Introduction - Not everyone will know the person making the toast, so it is important to briefly explain the connection to the bride and groom.
- Use Tasteful Anecdotes - It is never appropriate to talk about former boyfriends or girlfriends, previous marriages, or other hot button topics such as finances,
Tips for Delivering a Special Wedding Toast
- Make eye contact - Within reason, try to make eye contact with the bride and groom, as well as the guests.
- Stand up - The wedding toast is an important part of the day, so stand up and take charge and show how what an honor it is to have been asked to speak.
- Use descriptive words sparingly - There may be many wonderful adjectives to describe the bride or groom, but stick to a few really great descriptors. Overdoing the adjectives will make the toast too generic.
How to Use Humor While Toasting the Bride and Groom
Humor in a wedding toast should be tasteful and inclusive. Avoid making jokes that only the bride or groom will get. Keep in mind who will be hearing the toast; many elderly guests or guests with young children will not appreciate crude language or stories. Choose funny anecdotes that will make all of the guests chuckle.
While getting laughs for a wedding toast may be the goal, there is a risk of appearing silly. A humorous speech should not be mocking or cruel, and it should not undermine the significance of the day.
A trick to ending a great funny speech or toast is to finish with a heartfelt congratulations for the bride and groom. Ending on a more serious note shows that behind the playful jabs and jokes, there are genuine feelings and best wishes for the bride and groom.
Avoid Embarrassing Wedding Toast Mistakes
- Celebrate in moderation - Weddings are meant to be great celebrations, but never drink to excess before making a toast or speech.
- Avoid in-jokes - Telling a joke that only one or two other people understand will make for a poor response from the guests.
- Do not come unprepared - Practice speaking beforehand, in front of a mirror or in front of a good friend. Depending on the public speaking skills that the speaker possesses, the speech may be written out in full, or in bullet points, as quick reminders. Do whatever will help keep nerves at bay.
Remember that the wedding toast is a chance for the speaker to show how much they care for the bride and groom. Following these tips will help to create a toast that shows appreciation for the happy couple on their wedding day.
Marie MacDonald - Marie MacDonald is based in London, UK. She joined Suite101 in January, 2010.
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